jam of the day, personal, recovery

jam of the day – day 178

today’s pick is “fucking with the altimeter” by brainiac.

this song in particular evokes so many memories, so many memories. this group, braniac, is definitely another one of those life-changing artists who made a handful of life-changing songs.

i first heard this song and was exposed to brainiac during the first few months my husband and i had really started hanging out. if you ask him, he’ll say that my definition of hanging out is more like me slowly moving into his apartment and never leaving. meh, you say toe-may-toe, i say toe-mah-toe, right?

hanging out, moving in, same difference. anywho, we figured out somewhere along the way that our bond would become one that could never be broken, we’ve since had two beautiful children together, and we’re still every ounce of what-the-fuckery nerds we were when we were just some reckless kids fallin’ in love.

while we’re still not legally married, we’re married by common law, and we’ve definitely already made it through some of the heaviest, deepest portions marriage vows require you to say. we’ve waded through the tumultuous waters of “for better or for worse” and fought like hell through “in sickness and in health” and here we are after our fair share of shitstorms — and we still very much have and hold one another.

love is the hardest and most rewarding thing you’ll ever fight for. you’ll know when it’s worth it, and you’ll know when it’s not.

and at the end of the day, it is you and you alone that make the decisions you do each day, (for me it is maintaining my sobriety and working through recovery), and when i lay my head down each night… i’m so grateful that i have this partner of mine walking by my side and having complete faith in me. i’m proud of myself, yes, but i must give credit where credit is due — and i’m painfully aware and eternally grateful i have this man by my side to help me see things through.

Give me some love.

God save us all.

No more flowers for you.
So when you see an empty face you’ll know it’s supposed to be a clue.
Not just a mishap some kind of creep forgot.

Now, tell me, how does paralysis feel?
Like you’re trapped in a light beam part of the atom stream that oozes down through the glass.
Enough for me, you can’t penetrate my physical field .

Zip with silver airplanes quivering down.
Under the fuselage.
Elementary aeronautics ground.
Look at me now i’m a wreck.

How ’bout a kiss?

My oxygen’s lost in those lungs again.
Somebody give me my oxygen.
I need to breath.
Before I forget.
i’m going into oxygen debt.

I think your flesh is separated from the sins it commits and that explains why you smile when you balance on your stack of regrets.
Nobody’s with you this time.

How does it feel?

One flight down the aeronaut was found.
Under the fuselage.
Friends leave before we feed the carnivore.
Look at me now i’m a wreck.

Such a pretty bird

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