you might be asking… um, wtf do all these words have to do with one another, aside from the obvious?
the answer is alcohol, duh!
so, i’m currently working on a list of goals. all highly attainable and realistic, mind you, but will most likely end up being more long-term than i envision. these goals include (but are not limited to):
– be more punctual
– write in my journal more (like, my actual journal with an overpriced pen)
– return to the “3 b’s” i implemented so much in the beggining of my recovery
– tighten up my entries on this here “digital diary”
– decrease my impulsive behaviors… which really kind of ties back to the “3 b’s” but is also a freestanding goal in its own right
– educate myself on topics that interest me, will benefit my intelligence, and help me grow as a person
for now, i’ll do my best to see how thorough and concise i can make this post… but i’m pretty sure i’m starting off on the wrong foot by attempting to use this entry as a paradigm… going to take my best stab at it anyway.
“A” is for…
admiration : over the last 6+ months, i’ve come to admire people who got sober solely based on a 100% personal decision to walk away from the bottle. a lot of people i’m finding throughout various sober communities, got sober because they either went to rehab and/or jail. not that there’s anything wrong with that, but as a person who got sober based off the latter, i’ve really started to become more curious and am finding a deeper admiration for people that quit drinking because they (they as in themselves, they as in the individual made this choice and not because of outside circumstantial consequences) found the internal motivation to close up shop on their ol’ gas-guzzler. the fact that people who are in bad shape but are still cognizant enough to know it’s time to make their own “last call”…? so cool. i also admire people who are “normal” drinkers. the ones who have themselves and their lives so together and aren’t trying to chase a buzz or high, in order to compensate themselves with such “rewards.” they never think twice about turning down another drink… or turning down a drink at all. i admire the people who can say “no, thank you” or “i’ll just have one” and never have to worry about always saying “i’ll just have one more.”
this seems like an appropriate time to sign off and realize it’s more logical to save affirmation, apology, anxiety, and awareness and grant them their own separate entries. they deserve it because each bullet point is too heavy to summarize.
who do you admire? why do you admire them? please share — i’d love to know.
be good to yourself and to others, friends.